Generation 1 - 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 + Heir Poll
Generation 2 - 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 + Heir Poll | 2.5
Generation 3 - 3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 + Heir Poll
Generation 4 - 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 + Heir Poll
Generation 5 - 5.0 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4 | 5.5 + Heir Poll
Generation 6 - 6.0 | 6.1 | 6.2
Download an O'Neal HERE
Anyway, trying to decide if I should. I have a name picked out. I won't delete stuff, unless it's something I'll reupload (like something super recent like my new character sheet of Tus lol I wouldn't reupload anything old)
Maybe???? I DUNNO
Also I obtained Sims 3 University and I opened Sims today my Legacy family is still in functioning order. I missed them so much. But I was in a lot of pain today so I didn't play very long. Like, half a sim day. Hoping I can play more tomorrow.
My birthday is Sunday. Woo? Fingers crossed I can manage to go see Star Trek.
Okay everyone here’s what happened.
May 1st, I received a call that they found Cancer. Malignant Melanoma (specifically for me, Nodular Melanoma). I was told that all of my symptoms can be explained by this cancer. But if that was the case, it also meant that it’s taken hold and spread through my body.
So. Plan was, have surgery to remove the rest (I’d had the mole taken off but bits of my skin scrapes had it too) and have a lymph node taken out (I only had one, the sentinel node that it drains to). So I have a nice large gash across my collar bone (where the mole was), and one under my right arm.
I just got the call that the node was negative for cancer and my margins were clear. I almost passed out from relief you guys. I held it together on the phone but as soon as I hung up, water works started and I lost it I was just so happy.
I am not out of the woods yet. I can’t say that I’m cancer free. I’m a huge step closer to that. Because even if the node had been positive, them removing it could have been it, because it might not have spread anywhere else but that node. Problem is, it may have skipped the node all together and gone somewhere else. My surgeon told me, Melanoma is the cancer that plays by no rules. BUT the fact that the sentinel node was negative and my margins were clear DOES lower the likelihood that it went anywhere else by A LOT. So if it had come back positive, it would have RAISED IT by a lot. This is why it was so scary. Knowing it didn’t go to the closest place, means it’s unlikely it went anywhere at all.
Like I said though, I’m still in land of ???? so my next step is I will have to have a PET scan (a full body scan) to make sure the cancer didn’t go somewhere weird like my foot. I’m also going to see an Oncologist and probably going to be having treatments done.
I’m still scared. Because I don’t know what’s happening in my body, if this horrible thing is out of me completely or if it’s hiding somewhere. But knowing my chances just got better is a huge, HUGE weight off my shoulders.
I love the Panda ;_; omg I wanna crochet it ASAP
I'm starting to bet able to crochet again, my left hand (one I had surgery on in March) is still stiff, but if I take plenty of breaks and stretch my hands, it isn't bad. I can work through it. So, other than some obligations I need to finish, stuff for MEEEEEE I wanna finish Spirit (my Tigan) and then make the Panda Pokemon. And a Totodile cause I've been saying that one forever
I also really wanna make a Thor doll. Possibly a Loki if I can come up with a good design. I might need to draw a few ideas
I wanna make a bunch of other Pokemon, but, that's plenty to think about for now.
Whenever all of Gen 6 finally gets released, I wanna draw every single one of the new ones in order C:
I'm hurting some, but, it's not really any worse than pain I feel on a daily basis, except I know why I'm feeling it and it's more of a tightness sometimes, than pain. They prescribed me Norcro again, and I really don't like that. It destroyed my stomach last time I took it. So, I'm kinda of just like yeah whatever. I may try tramadol, since I have that on hand, see how that fares. Even maybe just an anti-inflammatory since it feels kinda puffy? I dunno. Might ask mom about it
We don't know the results of the surgery yet, so, as far as of any of that, I'm still not saying anything. We'll know later in the week.
Surgery is Friday
Gotta be in Dallas at 7 am in the morning to start all the prep and lab work, and the actual surgery is at 11 am. I do get to go home on Friday though, I won’t be kept over night. So I have that.
And I like my surgeon. I met him today, and he’s very light hearted, I feel like he knows what he’s doing, and he’s nice to talk to. But I’m not worried about the ACTUAL surgery. Surgery doesn’t worry me. I’m worried about what this surgery might yield.
Then we go from there
And I roll off a cliff
I apologize for being cryptic, but I got some information from one of my doctors that very well may the answer we’ve been looking for. And I’m fucking terrified.
I really don’t want to put too much information on here right now until I know for certain. I mean. I know I have something, right now. But. I don’t know how bad it is or how it’s going to effect me long term or if it’s going to at all. It might. It might not. It’s up in the air right now.
I am having surgery. I don’t know when yet. As of now, I’m scheduled to see a surgeon, to TALK to him to lay out the course of action, not the actual surgery, on May 7th.
I’m okay. I’m going to be okay. Please don’t think I’m laying around crying because I’m not. Am I scared? Yes. I think that’s a given. But I’ve been scared since I got sick. To have a name put in front of me, a name I know, just kind of magnifies things. And for all I know, this isn’t it. And I’ll go right back to being frustrated because no one knows wtf is wrong with me. But sitting around worrying isn’t going to help me, and I know that. So.
Certain people, if you want to know more, feel free to send me a private message or e-mail. If I don't answer you back, don't be offended. Sooner or later, I'll let everyone know what's going on.
Love ya’ll. Please never take a day of good health for granted.
Saw the Dermatologist.
And had four moles removed, including the one on my collar bone that has gotten bigger and bigger and always catches on my clothes and bleeds and I poke all the time. It’s gonna be weird not having it lol she’s pretty sure it’s harmless, but for the fact it bleeds a lot, we took it off.
Then three off my back that apparently didn’t look nice. I have a family history of melanoma so, she was pretty intent on getting those biopsied. And it’s a painless procedure, getting them off. Just a quick needle poke, then you’re numb, so.
Fun part was my feet turned purple. She kept asking if I was cold and I was like “No?” and then she goes “Your feet are purple.” and we were like .
And my blood pressure was 130/110? So IDK what was going on there. I was perfectly calm and I took my medication.
But of course, after she listened to me talk (she was asking about all my symptoms) she goes “Have you had a full work up for MS?” REGNHDKL:BMD gonna throw. Everything. NO I HAVEN’T. APPARENTLY. And she even thinks my brain MRI should be redone.
Also she thinks I should look into going to a university setting where a bunch of doctors can examine me cause I’ve apparently got a ton of shit going on but no one knows what, and she agreed with the second opinion for a neuro. She said she’d even call me if she thought of something.
Otherwise, she’s just gonna take care of my skin. Oh. And I showed her my tongue. She has NO IDEA wtf is wrong with it. No one does. It’s inflamed that’s about all we have on it right now. I’m still using the prescription mouth wash I was given, but, so far it hasn’t helped any.
Neuro on Thursday. Hopefully he's not useless.
My ENG was completely normal and my tongue biopsy said “her tongue is inflamed.”
He then sat with me for a few minutes, while I talked, I even showed him my MRI report of my head and he goes, “You’re seeing a neurologist right?” and I tell him yes, but my neuro is kind of. 8| and my dad says that we’ve been thinking of finding a new one. So, we get referred by this guy to a new one on the spot. And I have an appointment with him on May 2nd.
Which is good, sometimes with specialists it’s like, you gotta wait 3 months to get in. So, getting in one week to see a Neurologist? A+ AND. So happens this guy is in the same group (not the same office) as my old neuro, so he has access to all my records and tests my other neuro did. GOOD. ENT was like "Where is your neurologist in all this?????" good question
The person who made my appointment was kind of amusing too. Like she sounded so unsurprised that I wanted a second opinion after seeing Doctor Orr (my previous neuro). How comforting.
But on the bright side, my dad bought me gummy worms. And pizza.
Saw Pain Management doctor. I'm having two Steroid injections into my spine. He said considering the level of my pain and the way I describe it, it sounds like nerve pain and this is a shot gun approach to treating it. The first one is on May 6th
No rush or anything. And guess the fuck what? He got a hold of my MRI of my lower back? My Neurologist DID misread it, just like the first one, and my so called 'ripped discs' are just protrusions many normal people have. All it provided is where the disc PM doctor is going to give the injection.
He said it's usually in rounds of three, but we're starting with two. If it doesn't do a thing for my pain, we're stopping at two and my next step he says is he will make sure I get a lumbar puncture. What that is, is when they take a sample of your spinal fluid and test it. He said he's quite honestly shocked no one has done it yet,
but my neurologist is kind of good for nothing as we've all noticed.
I'm also getting 24 hour release tramadol to try, which he said shouldn't give me the high (and I can still take my concentrated doses of tramadol and muscle relaxers for break through pain). He's also giving me an anti-depressant for nerve pain + to help me sleep because I've been battling insomnia. We're concerned about this one. My body haaaates anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication with such a passion. Which I told him. SO he also did a genetic test (swabbed my mouth) for medication intolerance and such. He said it's really detailed and thinks it'll be interesting to see the results.
He would not. Shut up. About multiple sclerosis. Like, I wanted to just lay down on the floor and curl into a ball. Cause, My dad said, "She's had MRI's though." and he said, "Yeah that's the best test for it, but that doesn't rule it out. She doesn't have textbook presentation but she's definitely got signs, that's why I think she needs the spinal fluid testing." And I think my emotions about it were showing through on my face because at one point he was like, "Are you depressed, with all this going on?" I wanted to shout "NO I'M DISTRESSED PLEASE STOP TALKING."
Cause my brain MRI says I have white matter lesions and my Neuro
who apparently can't read MRI's corrently said that's from migraines but now I'm not so sure and I want someone to tell me yes or no on this. It keeps coming up. Every time I think it's off the table, it's not. And it scares the fuck out of me. Every doctor EVERY DOCTOR I see after I explain my symptoms says "Have you been tested for MS" that's like the first thing they all say, then this guy goes on and on about it and I just. I know it's not a death sentence, I know it can be managed, but it's still scary as hell.
And I feel like I can't even talk to my parents about this. My dad closes off. And my mom is just. I told her he thinks I need a lumbar puncture, and she went, "Uh. Why?" and laughed.
I just. I dunno. I have the ENG tomorrow. Which, shocker, is a test used in finding MS also (not just MS, but it's on the list). I want an answer. And I told this doctor that, and he said, "You may not get one." And THAT almost made me cry.I'm just so done with all of this. So done.